What’s Up With All These Relationships?
It seems like everyone is talking about their relationships these days. The art of dating and living together is much more complicated than it used to be. While humans have moved forward in their ways, there are still plenty of mistakes from the past that we continue to make.
Why is it that so many relationships are failing these days? I believe I can shed some light on this question.
Misunderstanding Of The Term Becoming One
We all know that once you get married you’re supposed to become like one person. [1] The both of you are supposed to coexist in such a way that no one could tell you apart when it comes to decisions and belief.
While this is partially true, many people make a huge mistake here. When it says to become one, it does not mean that you should become like your partner. If you sacrifice your dreams and passions for the sake of your partner the lose will manifest itself within you in the form of bitterness or anger.
There isn’t a person on the planet that is capable of giving up everything they are for someone else. It is not selfish to want some things for yourself. Just because you married an athlete does not mean you suddenly need to become fit and healthy. (Though I would advise you to get healthy)
Becoming one means that both of you must adjust to the personality of the other. You must accept that each of you is different. There may be days where your partner wants to do something that doesn’t interest you. Be honest with them, but let them do it anyway.
The biggest mistake any of us can make is to deny our partner the things that make them happy just because they don’t make us happy. The same should go for your partner.
Realize The Correct Order Of Importance
When it comes to married life, or even dating life, most would say the order of importance in a family is kids, spouse, then yourself. This is absurd. Of course, you should do everything in your power to make your kids and your partner happy. However, if you deny yourself the things that make you happy for them every time, you will become unhappy.
There are times where you need to do something purely for yourself. One of the best books I have read so far regarding relationship is call “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. This book has helped me to think stronger and grow richer mentally when I was at my lowest.
Generally, these are the times when I felt stressed out or tired and needed some help to stand up again. A teaching in this book goes by this: if you try to put others before you when you need something, it will likely cause you to feel bitter about that person. Make sure to take care of yourself so that you are in a state of mind where you can also look after your family.
Never Lose Yourself In A Person
As much as you love someone, you should never sacrifice who you are for them. People who are jumping from partner to partner tend to be those that are not happy with themselves and wish to find satisfaction in the arms of another.
Before you can be a good partner to someone, you must first be good to yourself. You have to love yourself no matter who you are. We can always strive to be better, but never put yourself above nor below another!
