How To Let Go Of The Past
We have all had our fair share of heart breaks where things haven’t gone our way or the people we trusted most have let us down. Letting go of the past is sometimes difficult.
If you’ve lost a job or had your heart broken, it’s hard to move on in the beginning. Your mind keeps on holding onto the past, so it becomes very difficult to move on with our lives and make peace with life. The subconscious mind wants to remember the moments from time to time and dwell in the painful moments of the past.
The logical or rational mind gets stuck in the drama of the past. You keep thinking of ‘if only’ and ‘what if’ that your subconscious mind creates to cause even more heartbreak and negative emotions. It would be easier to simply let things go and forget the past, but the subconscious mind won’t allow you to do it.
You try to move on. You enter a new relationship or start a new job. But just as things seem to be getting better, your past starts to haunt again, interfering with your progress.
Why is it so difficult to let go  ? And why is it so hard to forgive and forget? If you’re finding it difficult to let go of your past, bitterness, anxiety, grudges, a past relationship, emotion, etc., this step-by-step guide is for you! Take this chance to learn lessons on how to let go of the past events, traumas, and hurts, so you can enjoy your everyday life once more.
- How To Let Go Of The Past
- Why Letting Go Is Difficult
- 12 Tips For Letting Go Of The Past
- 1. Find Out What Is Preventing You From Moving On
- 2. Maintain Physical Distance
- 3. Focus On Yourself
- 4. Practice Mindfulness
- 5. Be Kind To Yourself
- 6. Practice Yoga Or Meditation
- 7. Accept That The Person Who Hurt You Might Not Apologize
- 8. Exercise At Least 15 To 30 Minutes Each Day
- 9. Surround Yourself With People Who Love You And Are Happy For You
- 10. Talk To Someone You Trust About It
- 11. Forgive Yourself And Other People Who Have Hurt You
- 12. Seek Professional Help
Why Letting Go Is Difficult
We often hear about the importance of forgiveness in today’s world. We remind each other why it’s important to let go of the past and make room for the future. We use different ways in the world like reading to each other let the past go quotes to encourage each other to move on as we carry out our day-to-day activities.
Letting it go is obviously very important. But change is difficult and letting go of our past relationships, events, hopes and wishes is the key to progressing with our lives. But sometimes we fail terribly, we get stuck in the past and in the painful events that have caused us trauma for long.
One of the reasons why many individuals are stuck in the past is because of times of uncertainty. Certainly is a basic human necessity and it’s all about survival. Everyone wants to be certain that we can cope with the amount of pain in our head and therefore, live a comfortable life.
Moving on from one’s past means stepping into an unknown future. The thought of it implies having enough courage and strength to free ourselves from what we are already familiar with in the world — even if that story is negative – and to embrace what outcome is ahead of us.
Another reason why it’s so hard in order to let go of the past experiences has to do with the manner and habit in which we associate the topic of emotions with information. If someone causes you emotional pain, you may end up bringing it over and over again, especially if you’re in an emotionally draining relationship.
Your partner might feel that it is difficult to win since, no matter how hard he/she tries to correct the situation, you continue to punish him/her for their previous wrongdoings. This sort of emotional resistance can lower your mood and lead to disconnection, frustration, loneliness, and separation.
Letting go of the past is tough because we often don’t realize how much harm we are causing ourselves. It is difficult to understand the suffering or pain that we may be causing ourselves by clinging onto past experiences. That is because we are often not even aware or conscious of it.
There may be some things that have occurred in the past that you have not yet forgiven yourself for. Or maybe little time has passed and you’ve not yet gotten over someone or something. Remember that time can be a great healer when it comes to moving on and letting go of past wounds. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to let go of the past and how to start all over to live a life full of joy and freedom.
First of all, the truth is that you need to recognize that now is the best time to let go of the past. The most difficult part of moving on is making the decision to learn how to let go the past and move forward.
Yes, it’s quite difficult in order to make new decisions that can conquer our fears but you should keep in mind that you have a whole future ahead of you. You have already experienced the painful past and now that things are not working, you need to realize that it’s time and a sign to let go of the past and move on.
No matter how much time has passed since something horrible happened to you, these signs and tools should tell you it’s time to let go of the past. Since the emotions are valid, let yourself feel them or it will be impossible to move on. Although your reactions to the past experiences are understandable, you should stop burying your feelings so you can move on. The first step is always to accept that something caused you pain.
Identify any emotions that cause you to be sad and miserable, no one should feel that way. Acknowledge that those emotions are there, but don’t rush to change your emotional state. It takes time and practice in order to know how to identify those negative emotions.
Once you begin feeling a variety of negative emotion like fear, stress, or anxiety, worries, make sure to acknowledge your exact feelings and behaviors. For example, if you feel jealous once you spot an ex with another person, know that you’re being jealous and acknowledge what your mind is telling you to keep feeling jealous.
Don’t try to hide emotions from yourself. Although you may not want to tell everyone what you’re feeling, the goal is you should not hide your feelings totally.
The ability to identify your feelings by recognizing them by words is better than pretending the emotions are not there. Try to recognize why you actually feel that way. Think about everything that caused those feelings in your life journey and try not to blame anyone for your emotions.
For example, your ex-boyfriend may not be seeing another person to hurt you. The way you feel comes from yourself, and it is important to accept those feelings as natural. Acknowledging the truth regarding your negative emotions will help you let go of the past and move on in your life. This is an important step in moving on from the past.
3. Let Go
Find out your motivation for moving on from your pat and letting go of painful or negative emotions. Discovering some positive motivation to move on and let go of your painful feelings can help you move on. Think about your story and your purpose in life and get into proper habits to find the motivation you need to let go of the past and move on.
Forgive yourself and your ex for any bad situations, obstacles, or events that you may have faced, and think about the positive changes that you can make to motivate yourself to move on from this burden experience. Heartbreaks can last longer than you could ever imagine. They are so deep that sometimes it may seem like it’s way impossible to let things go. Find out the things that are making it hard for you to let things go.
It is easy to cling to the past, but the best thing is that you’re willing to move on in life and let go. Thinking about what things are clouding your future. The power of letting go of the past baggage revolves around the nature of the circumstances themselves, so look closely.
The power also lies in the changes you are willing to make and how much effort you’re willing to put forth to get rid of those negative emotions. Letting the past go entails remembering the events, but taking them from a different and more realistic point of view.
We all make mistakes, but holding back and dwelling on the same thing is only going to make the extent of the problem worse.
Forgive everybody who has caused your harm to fully let go of your experience. Also, you need to forgive yourself if you think you have caused yourself trauma in one way or the other. It’s impossible to move on with your life if you’re currently sad and unwilling to forgive yourself and other people who have wronged you.
It does more harm than good to hold onto something like your friend’s or partner’s mistakes. Stop clinging onto the negative feelings or experience even if you hurt someone or someone wronged you.
You have already acknowledged that your feelings and emotions are valid. Since you’ve already accepted that you were hurt, there’s absolutely no need to keep thinking or talking about it. If you forgive, you’ll start to experience more happiness, faith, hope, and satisfaction.
If you have made way costly mistakes in the past, ask others for forgiveness, and forgive yourself as well. If your partner has hurt you and you find it hard to let go, accept the fact that you trusted them in the first place. You should learn to forgive and let go of her/him to live a happy and fulfilling life.
5. Focus On The Present
Keep in mind that when you let go of the past, you’re not trying to forget everything that has happened. You’re simply trying to reduce the negative effect the memory has on your life in the present moment. Focusing on the present is a great way of minimizing the impact of memory. You’re not just trying to avoid your emotions, but you are preventing the thoughts from the past from ruining your present moment.
You should deal with any troublesome past event in an objective manner and with your senses and thoughts focused on what you’re doing in the present. In fact, concentrating on how you are healthy and safe today will enable you to deal with any tough memories more efficiently. Basically, you’re able to give yourself more space and freedom to deal with whatever has been troubling you.
12 Tips For Letting Go Of The Past
One thing that makes us all human is the ability to feel pain, whether it’s emotional or physical pain. What makes us different, however, is how each person deals with pain. One of the best ways to deal with pain and heal from any hurtful situations is to learn how to let go of the past in a relationship and use the lessons to guide us into the future.
If your brain is filled with thoughts on what you should have done instead, you can damage yourself even more. You actually end up becoming immobilized in hurtful memories and feelings. If you’re trying to heal and move on from any of the painful thoughts or memory, but don’t know how to get started, the following are some helpful tips on how to let the past go:
1. Find Out What Is Preventing You From Moving On
It is important to learn how to listen to your heart and identify the underlying root cause of your problem. Yes, the past event may have been very painful, but why are you still suffering? If you’re finding it hard to get over an ex, chances are you’re lonely and need attention. Determining the reason why the event hurts you to this day will help you come up with a proper strategy. Although you can’t change whatever happened, you can control the pain.
2. Maintain Physical Distance
We often tell the people we love that they should stay away from people or situations that are causing them pain or stress. According to experts, that’s actually a good idea.
Creating a physical distance between yourself and the person or situation that is causing your harm is a great way of letting go of the past events simply because you will not always be thinking about that situation in the future. Things like keeping physical and psychological distance will help you stop getting sucked into negative or painful rumination, which could lead to depression.
3. Focus On Yourself
Doing your work is extremely important. You ought to make the decision to deal with the pain or stress that you are experiencing. Instead of wasting your energy on the past, concentrate on things like your family, career, or goals in life.
When you think about something or someone that has impaired you, take yourself to the present moment. Then, start focusing on something that makes you want to be happy again or something that you’re proud of.
4. Practice Mindfulness
When you bring yourself to the present, you are able to reduce the impact that your past burdens have on your present or future. When you begin practicing mindfulness, you can minimize the impact and potential your pain has on your life in the future. This gives you more flexibility to do what makes you happy.
5. Be Kind To Yourself
If you tend to criticize yourself when trying to accept and move on from past hurts, it’s time to start treating yourself like you would treat a loved one, showing yourself nothing but compassion and avoid comparing yourself with others. Pain is inevitable, and you may not be able to avoid negativity, but you can choose to show yourself empathy, kindness, gratitude, and self-love during such times.
6. Practice Yoga Or Meditation
Both yoga and meditation can help you deal with your emotions. By practicing either meditation or yoga, you can control your feelings, behavior, and thoughts. Both yoga and meditation will get your thought back on track and allow you to focus on the present moment instead of dwelling on past events, achieving success in the future.
There’s plenty of information available on how to practice either meditation or yoga. Enhanced flexibility and concentration can help you cope with your thoughts and expectations. You have the chance to cherish every moment of your life.
7. Accept That The Person Who Hurt You Might Not Apologize
Waiting for others who wronged you to offer an apology will slow down the healing process and make it difficult for you to let go of past moments that are dragging you down. Holding onto nothing but anger, guilt and resentment will only damage you, and the other person.
If you are feeling pain, it’s your responsibility to take care of your own recovery, which means that you should not wait for others who wronged you to apologize. It is time to keep pressing on.
8. Exercise At Least 15 To 30 Minutes Each Day
Doing exercises is good for your physical health and wellbeing, but research has shown that it is great for your mental health too. Studies have shown that exercise and self care can reduce negative thoughts significantly.
Endorphins (like dopamine, which are responsible for happiness) are produced during exercise. You can get started by exercising for around 15 minutes each day and then increasing it to about 30 minutes for one to two weeks.
9. Surround Yourself With People Who Love You And Are Happy For You
This simple yet powerful advice can help you deal with a lot of negativity. To actually reflect on your life, it recommended to surround yourself with the people who really love you and are happy for you. You may doubt yourself, but you will have peace of mind.
As humans, no one can live alone and you can expect other people to cope with their negativity alone, either. So go ahead and lean on your loved ones so you can constantly be reminding yourself of the good things that are in your life.
10. Talk To Someone You Trust About It
The truth is you have your own ideas about your past experiences. Talking to someone who has your full attention can help you say what is worrying you. Your loved one will most likely offer a reasonable take on why you need to move on and let go past hurts and resentment. Your friend or loved one holds your hand on this journey and helps you every step of the way.
Talking to a friend or a loved one about your issues will help minimize its impact. It might be difficult to talk it out, but it will definitely be worth it.
11. Forgive Yourself And Other People Who Have Hurt You
As we’ve mentioned above, waiting for someone who has impair you to apologize can stall the healing process and make it more difficult to let go of anything that’s troubling you. Therefore, it’s important to work on yourself so you can forgive yourself and anyone else who has hurt you.
Forgiveness is very important because it speeds up the healing process and helps to improve your self-esteem. It lets go of the sadness, shame, guilt, grudges, anger, grief, and other feelings that you might be experiencing so you can find it easy to move forward with your life.
12. Seek Professional Help
Some painful experiences from the past can be too hard to handle on our own. Such experiences require specialized skills and experience of someone qualified in the techniques used to handle them.
If you have tried to move on, but are finding it too difficult, you should at least seek professional help. This usually involves finding a professional counselor or support group that will listen to your grievances. You should make the choice to get help so you can get on the right track again.
A mental health expert will be able to offer a tailored approach to tackling past trauma and help you to work through your issue. Most people can benefit from speaking to a professional therapist so if there’s something from the past that is weighing you down, regardless of how minor it seems, seeking professional help is always a good idea.
You have the ability to start from scratch anytime you wish. No matter how long or how difficult it takes, how to start your life over begins from taking that leap of faith. There’s no use in living a life you hate. Life is about the journey, not the destination.
Whether you’re searching for success, happiness, spirituality, or adventure, this is a fresh start for you. Take baby steps, and you’ll remember this as being one of the greatest moments in your life.