Self-esteem is crucial for a happy and fulfilled life. It dictates the self-evaluation of a person’s worth affecting how one perceives the world around them. Low self-esteem can have an enormous negative impact on the quality of your life. People with low self-esteem tend to have an attitude of self-defeat and a feeling that they are never good enough.
If you are a parent, you know the importance of building self-confidence in your children. It is important that you are aware of the most common signs of low-self-esteem to act fast and deal with the problem before it becomes bigger. Here are the signs to watch out for and what you can do about it.
Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem
People with low self-esteem react uniquely to different situations. However, several indicators can tell you that someone is dealing with it. A few signs that might indicate you or a loved one has low self-esteem include:
This is a common symptom of self-doubt. Shame strips pride and leaves an individual feeling vulnerable. People who feel this way avoid eye contact and develop a certain posture when communicating. If your child is struggling with shame, help them deal with this problem as soon as you can. If for instance, they are underperforming at school, let them know it will get better with time and make an effort of hiring a tutor for them.
People with low self-esteem feel the need to exaggerate their lives to appear successful. They may also try to make situations look worse than it is to gain sympathy.
3. Constant Apologies
Do you find yourself apologizing each time you bump into somebody on the streets? People with low self-esteem suffer from an inaccurate view of themselves. They tend to feel as if everything wrong happening around them is their fault. If you are suffering from this, each time you apologize, acknowledge that it was not your place to give an apology and you did nothing wrong.
4. Everything is Luck
People with a lack of self-worth doubt their abilities and so associate everything good in their life with luck. Convince your mind that your efforts, talents, and intelligence earned you the success. Others do not accept compliments and tend to criticize people doing well in life. Simply say thank you when complimented and appreciate other people’s efforts.
Self-doubt causes people to have trouble making decisions. These people spend too much time deliberating over simple issues. Making choices is difficult for them because it feels like it doesn’t matter what they choose. The choices and needs of others matter more. If you find yourself decorating your room because a friend likes decorations in a certain way, you may be suffering from low self-esteem.
6. Trouble Saying No
People with self-doubt never understand that people will like them for who they are. They try to please others by being a “yes man” to be well-liked. Even when overworked and overwhelmed, such people will hardly say no. While it may sound like a good idea to put other people first, it only means you are not considering your priorities. If someone, for instance, asks where you would like to have dinner, and you tell them to pick, it could be a sign of lack of self-worth, especially if you doubt they will accept your suggestions. You need to learn to be assertive and avoid catastrophizing events. Learn to say no when you need to.
7. You Check your Phone for Non-Existent Texts
When you are at a party waiting for your significant other, do you scroll through your phone pretending to be chatting or do you mingle? If you are constantly on your phone, it can be either you are bored or lack a sense of self-confidence. Poor social skills could mean low self-esteem. Boost your confidence by looking around to see if there is someone you can approach. If there isn’t, look around for other people who seem to be by themselves and introduce yourself.
Causes of Low Self-Esteem
Many times, self-doubt stems from our childhood. Some of the experiences that may lead to it include:
- Harsh parental standards
- Constant punishment
- Lack of parental warmth, affection, and praise
- Always being on the receiving end of someone’s ill fortune
The early stages of our lives form the rules of life, which then affect how people think and react to situations. A poor upbringing can have a lasting effect. Sometimes a new beginnging bring about uncertainty and it leads to low self esteem.
How does Low Self-Esteem affect your Life?
Self-doubt has several consequences. Many a times, it makes the affected person confuse love with ill-treatment. If you suffer from it, you might expect people to treat you badly. When they are nice to you, you may feel extremely excited with unrealistic feelings. In relationships, people with self-doubt take the lower hand. They tend to bear things they shouldn’t stand.
If you are employed, your employer might believe you are not talented because you may not have the confidence to show your talents. Such people are often quiet in group presentations. With time, a feeling of lack of self-worth can graduate to depression.
How should you improve your Self-Esteem?
Low self-esteem is a serious issue that can lead to a lot of consequences. The good thing is; it is easy to solve and lead a normal life. Here is what you should do:
- Ignore positivity advice: Depressed people often hear phrases such as “hey, cheer up,” “life is too short to be gloomy,” and so forth. If you have suffered from depression before, you know such phrases only make the situation worse. On the flip-side, people with low self-esteem hate to hear phrases such as “you are great just the way you are,” “appreciate yourself,” and more of that kind.
- Refocus your attention: Pursue a goal to ignore your inadequate feelings or spend quality time with people who matter.
If you find yourself struggling with low self-esteem, don’t give up hope. You may need to manifest the magic yourself, but there are possibilities to regain self-confidence and be successful in life. You only need to understand the root causes of your self-doubt and overcome them.